Answers double spaced and in 12pt font please.

Ok so I’m a little picky!

I had a random, but very interesting suggestion made to me today from someone possibly wiser than me. To find the elusive hot man of my dreams I must cast the net wider…the suggestion was a mail shot, however that may be a little extreme even for me.

From the day I turned 16 marriage has been on the family agenda, I turn 27 soon and have avoided it fairly well. I am by no means averse to traditional marriage and children but even now I believe that the right man is out there and to settle for Mr Almost Right is not really an option…but as time is APPARENTLY not on my side a mail out questionairre was suggested, one assumes in jest.

But as I drank a glass of Pinot and painted my nails this evening I got to thinking, I have a list of criteria so is a questionairre so far fetched. When we apply for the job of our dreams it is all questions and we might stay in one job 5 years, marriage is supposed to be for life so why not ask questions. You see like everything else in life we are all too frikin PC. Women are not supposed to say the words marriage or children or you’re considered psychopathic. Why so? Maybe I’m just organised, know what I want at some point in the future and feel I’ve had my days of pointless dating! SO THERE! I’m not out to trap or scare a man and frankly if the words marriage and or children scare a MAN he needs to grow a pair and join the real world.

So if it was as easy as a few questions what would I ask…..My friend Nancy (a total living legend) once told me make a list of the things you could not live without or could not come to accept in a man…and then live by it. That advice gave me the courage to stop myself making the biggest mistake of my life..so here goes!

 

• Are you male or female?

If you have ticked female, thank you for your participation and goodbye.

• Age?

Hmmm my ideal here is about 25-37 I guess – for the most amazing man I may push the boundries…I doubt I’d go any younger really. All my life I’ve been the one who did the looking after and I’m happy for someone else to take control a little now. Not control of me but more of the day to day stuff….maybe?

• Do you smoke/ take any kind of illegal substance?

This one is a deal breaker for me, smoking is against my religion and drugs waste money that could be spent on shoes.

• Are you gainfully employed in a career you enjoy?

I love my job, I loved teaching, it would bother me if I ended up with someone who hated their work. I also think life experience is really important so I’d say educated or equivalent – otherwise what would we talk about and lets face it, I like talking!  I also find lazy men really unappealing – there is no sweeter success than the one you work hard for, I’ve seen the men in my life work hard, my daddy especially, to provide me with the best he could and I’d expect the same for my future offspring!

• Which brings me nicely to family!

Must have a healthy relationship with his family, especially mother/ sisters. If a man can not respect his mother (respect, not be tied to apron strings cus that is a whole other nightmare) he probably won’t respect me! And must want children at some point in the future, not today or tomorrow but yes in the next five – seven years, that shouldn’t be scary it should be exciting!

• Passion

It doesn’t massively matter what the passion is for, work, music, art I don’t mind but to have real passion about something is important. I think anyway!

•  And finally the ability to embrace my culture.

Read that doesn’t mean my religion but my culture is very important to me.

And then there are a few things that aren’t deal breakers but are preferences:

• Enjoys an evening of dancing as much as an evening of trashy television because everything has its place in life
• Enjoys shopping or is able to amuse himself for my shopping excursions
• 5′10″ +
• Appreciation for the finer things in life but understanding of the importance of the little things that mean far more
• A really yummy accent
• Ability to tell bad jokes and laugh at mine – cus life is too short, busy and stressful to always be serious.

 

Clearly no one is still reading but are these really such impossible things to ask for? There are only 5-6 things that I couldn’t do without..are they really big asks? Any men reading, your thoughts would be much appreciated!

 

A note – this has taken me 3 days to write because I got sick!!!!!!!!!!! How annoying a whole weekend of fun time wasted sleeping, I was totally unable to shop or anything!

Today I feel mainly sad.

I should feel happy because 3 weeks from now I will be waking up at home and, by now, will be jumping on my parents bed until they get up and talk to me, (Yes if you see your parents for only 21 days a year, anything goes!) but I just feel sad. The things that are making me sad are below:

Bombings.

My family are ok because they live in Delhi, but apparently Delhi is next.

Redundancy.

Is the big buzz word of the week and I hate it.

Bad happenings.

My friend is having a hard time, I feel sad for her.

There are some more frivolous things that are making me sad but I’m not sure they count. They are things like delayed deliveries, dishes, lack of sleep.

I am off to continue being sad, I’m not sure even shoes can cheer me up today. A hot man probably could but they are in short supply in this frikin credit crunch as are all fun things!

The A-Z of my holiday!

A

 

is for Alcatraz – when you arrive there is a sign that says ‘No Indians’ I find it hilarious.

B

 

is for Bloomingdales – last year I spent 2 full days in this one store. It was lust at first sight.

 

C

 

is for Christmas, it really is the most wonderful time of the year.

 

D

 

is for dressing up and partying, be it with our parents or friends or their friends – I like to cram 52 weeks of socialising into 3!

 

E

 

is for eating – it feels like I start eating at the airport and don’t stop until I get back into LHR. Indians are feeders, so are Slovaks & puerto ricans,,,eat eat eat.

 

F

 

is for friends. I have friends in California that I would count as some of my closest in the world. Quality time, not quantity, is what makes a friendship. Thankfully!

 

G

 

is for gifts, I’m a very lucky girl, I’m very aware of that. I also love give gifts and there is nothing more amazing than there being lots of amazingly wrapped gifts under the tree.

 

H

 

is for home, waking up at home is very amazing!

 

I

 

is for In Out burger, I told you food featured heavily. These burgers are amazing, I have them protein style, wrapped in lettuce and their chips are made of real spuds!

 

J

 

is for Jamba juice, I love it. I want to Mango ago go.

 

K

 

is for Kareoke – we have it at our legendary Boxing Day parties (although this year it will be on the 27th) last year even my dad sang.

 

L

 

is Lake Tahoe, we spent last New Years there – we drove round the lake on new years eve and almost got stuck in a snow storm. It is quite cool, there is one point where you can have a foot in California and one in Nevada.

 

M

 

is mummy’s cooking! I wish I could fly home more often for this. We decide on our menu for the day we get home the day we book tickets. 3 months in advance usually! I like mummy’s rice best.

 

N

 

is for Nemo, my nickname at home. Sadly my mother thinks nothing of calling it me in public – people do stare!

 

O

 

is for Outlet shopping, my favourite kind. There are some a m a z i n g outlets close to my folks, an especially good one close to Daddy’s office which means we can shop and have lunch with him, doubly brilliant!

 

P

 

is for Poking, don’t even ask.

 

Q

 

is for the Queens Speech. I don’t miss it being cold at Christmas, I don’t even miss the soaps (long live iplayer and youtube) but it isn’t the same watching the Queen’s speech at 7am. (I really only watch for glimpses of William, we were going to get married you know! Well in my head anyway – though now I’m more a Harry kinda gal!)

 

R

 

is for Road trips, we take them as a family and prefer to drive than even fly. We sing and make jokes and fight. All of which can be fun.

 

S

 

is once again for shoes. I take about 10 pairs and come back with even more!

 

T

 

is for Tree, the tree last year got decorated at 3am because we were jet lagged and woke my parents and sister up too!

 

U

 

is for Union square, it looks soooo amazing at Christmas and wherever you look are more amazing shops.

 

V

 

in Vino, one of the main business provisions of Livermore is wine.

 

W

 

is for Wine Gums, Whole nut and other ‘English’ items that my family request. Before I pack the living room looks like Tescos!

 

X

 

is for Xcess (OK ok I know it is cheating) baggage. Doesn’t matter how hard I try I always have too much stuff. Most of it the above.

 

Y

 

is for yearly countdown, it starts the minute the tickets are booked and I like to annoy anyone who will listen with a daily countdown

 

Z

 

zzzzz, there is no place like home for an amazing night of sleep and a cup of tea ready for you in the morning or for the first few days while jet lag is still rife I wake my folks up with coffee and cuddles!

 

 

 

  

A

 

 

 

Cold feet. Lovely day.

My feet are freezing.

They have been freezing since I got up at 6am, unable to sleep and cooked a chicken curry from scratch instead. I mean who does that at 6am!

I think the energy is because I am now officially excited. 3 weeks till VACAY baby. I had a pretty chilled weekend and had a new dress to wear to work so maybe that is why I felt the need to rise at 6 (as in well before 7.30) I am just hoping it is not some illness – what if I wake at 6 tomorrow:? I will probably lie awake until 6 thinking about this…

Anyway my insomnia was not the reason for my posting, advising about my cold feet and lovely day was. Being up at 6 did mean I felt wide awake at 8am rather than still dying, I had a nice long shower after cooking and then took a while getting ready…still running on schedule, still managed to rock up to work 10minutes late no idea how I manage these amazing feats of appalling time keeping. I would imagine it is something to do with IST (Indian Stretchable Time) no Indian I know is EVER on time therefore it must be genetic. (RANDOM interjection - my lovely friend Jo would not eat one of her sprouts yesterday based on it being too hard due to a GENETIC defect…how we laughed)

Anyway back to lovely day. I wore a lovely new dress (at some point I will blog about lovely weekend) and everyone was very complimentary, even a couple of double takes thank you very much! I had a very lovely conversation that kept me smiling throughout the afternoon and then I had a lovely date with the only man in my life who loves me unconditionally. My friends baby boy is fab, he thinks I am fab, he always smells great and smiles at me and giggles and has the cutest chubbiest legs in the world. He is also only 5 months old and, sadly, one day will turn into a man, However for now Annette has said she is willing to swap him for a curry recipe. and I am well up for this amazing plan! Annette is fab, she is as cool as a cucumber, looked fab throughout her pregnancy, shrunk back to size tiny within 3 months and always looks stunning. She would say nothing is perfect and her punishment is her husband but he is pretty cool too and fixed my lock…. I like them a lot, I aim to be as grown up as them some day, because they still know about having fun!

Oh and yes I saw the Coke advert this morning which means it is officially Christmas cus holidays are coming….

Anyway so yes a lovely day with lovely people, lovely compliments and one adorable hot little man, now if only my feet would warm up I could sleep, it will be time to get up again in 8 hours!

Who am i?

This, I suppose, is an A-Z of me and the things I like. There are some dislikes but it is mostly likes and things that make me happy…I may do dislikes next, or favourite shops. We shall see!

 

A is for Angad. Angad is my little brother, except he is not so little these days. He is a grown up, getting married with a proper job. No longer a scrounger he never lets me pay for lunch or dinner and let me go wild at MAC in the summer. He is marrying Sharon, she is a lovely girl too, together they are quite lovely and a little Posh n Becks.

 

B is for beautiful things. I like things that make me smile, fresh flowers – pink lilies for anyone who wants detail, big pillar candles burning all evening long, well wrapped gifts, the moon on a clear night and twinkly stars. I also love pictures – they are beautiful and have framed photos of my friends and family all over my room.

 

C is for California. California is where mummy and daddy and little sister live, California is pretty much home.

 

D is for diamonds. They are a girl’s best friend. Beyonce said so. Actually she kind of screeched it but either way….

 

E is education. Yes I am a geek. I enjoy study. And all those years ago when my parents told me it was the one thing no one can not take away from you, I didn’t believe them. Now I do, looks might fade, brains don’t as I love telling my lovely sister. (See K) I also love to educate and my time lecturing was one my most fun times.

 

F is for Friends and Family. They are all crazy, but I count my blessings each day that I have them.

 

G is for Godiva, or Green and Blacks or really just chocolate. But not most American chocolate. Green and blacks butterscotch is Crunchie for grown up people, so who knows why I eat it. But I could eat it until it came out of my eyes. When I found it in Target in America the joy was both visible and audible.

 

H is for Hostess. I love to entertain and have parties and people over and generally host. When I am a proper grown up I envisage a homey house, a stocked fridge and people over all the time!

 

I is for India. Well it had to be didn’t it? I don’t go all that often but there are many things about it I love, it is part of my heritage and as much as I may tease something I proud of being.

 

J is for January 26^th. My birthday, and also Indian Independence – I may have to work on my birthday but none of my India based relatives do. HOW RUDE?!

 

K is for Karishma. My beautiful baby sister, except she is now 21 and 6’2 without heels. I remember the day she was born and seeing her in an incubator, not so much now….she travels with an entourage and is very cool. I’d like to be as cool as ‘Kish’ if I ever grow up.

 

L is for Louboutin. I covet a red soled wonder. Nuff said.

 

M is for Monsoon, the shop not the weather system. All the pretty shiny things, that are cut beautifully and wear well. They have an amazing personal shopper at my local store, I love her but my credit card is not such a fan. The only clothing I love more is bespoke Indian outfits.

 

N is for nightwear. I could live in my pyjamas, sometimes I venture out in them. I also love pretty, lovely, lacy nightwear but not for vacuuming, chilling or cooking in. I have an extensive nightwear collection, most of it transcends into day wear pretty well…my Abercrombie trousers have been worn out on many an occasion with only the occasional ‘what an oddball’ glance. My favourite piece of nightwear ever is an Oscar de la Renta baby doll bought from Bloomingdales last year at the bargain price of $40 from $200. If I was Carrie Bradshaw I’d wear it as a cocktail dress, as I am not it sits in a drawer.

 

O is for the only one I see. OK this one has to be a little squished in because I’ve used C and M but anyone who watches a fair bit of TV will know this is a line from the Chanel Mademoiselle adverts with and I’ve worn this perfume for about 8 years and I love it. Friends who haven’t seen me in ages remember me for it, I learnt all about it when I, briefly, worked about Chanel and every woman should have a signature scent. Chanel describe it as timeless, ageless sophisticated and elegant…I doubt if I’m those but I know I’ve tried switching a few times and always come back.

 

P is for parents. A range of emotions, far too many to mention is one blog. All overshadowed by love annoyingly. 27 days and counting till cuddles! However in 5 weeks the emotions may be on the other side of the scale…

 

Q is for quality. I love Primark, I really do but not for something I want to last more than say one season. Although they have the best skinny fit jeans I’ve found. Quality is worth paying for on some things these include food, staple wardrobe items, shoes and bags, chocolate, alcohol, hotels, skin care, perfume, make up. This is not an exhaustive list. However please see V to full understand how I do quality.

 

R is for Rodeo Drive. Some of my happiest memories were here. Yes I like shopping – sue me!

 

S is for shoes, as if it could ever be anything else. Be they Jimmy or Gina, Manolo or Louboutin or even Tesco or Asda, I love them I really do. Flats, heels, boots even Uggs hold a place in my heart. BUT NOT CROCS. And yes the ones in the banner on my blog are my pride and joy; Jimmy Choo and they make me feel loved!

 

T is for travelling. Not the strange rucksack way. But it is fun to see the world and meet new people; I just prefer to do it with the luxuries of beds and spas… I discovered this when I did my Duke of Edinburgh and couldn’t take my electric toothbrush…

 

U is for unimpressed. The face I apparently pull with some panache. This is a genetic trait I’ve acquired from my mother (she does it better though). Mum has two faces, impressed and unimpressed – no mid way – which can be hilarious, it can also be bloody dangerous as her opinions of people, food, hospitality etc are always written all over her face! I don’t do it as often and can usually hide my most unimpressedness but amongst friends I am told the nostrils flare!

 

V is for Value. I love to get a deal. It annoys me if I can’t. I like the finer (See Q) things (I’m sure that wasn’t evident) but I never pay full price. Frankly, why should I? Some of my favourite places in the world, for bargains, are The Great Mall in Milpitas CA, Bicester Village in Oxford and the internet. It is shopping in the warmth and comfort of your home and twice the excitement. The rush you get of the actual purchase, followed by that of the arrival.

 

W is for Wispa. Wispa is my car, it is no Aston but it was a gift from my Daddy so it may as well be. It also has air con and electric windows which alarms my brother as it is basically a shoe box on wheels.

 

X is for is Xmas. Yes I hate that word but I’ve used C and I am in love with Christmas so tough! I love the sights, the sounds, the smells. I love that it means family and safety and happiness. I know it doesn’t for everyone but it does for me and especially now it means even more as I get to see my family! I do obviously love the shopping/present element but the family bit wins hands down for me J

 

Y is for YouTube. Better than TV sometimes, TV on the internet is just a great idea. No advert breaks; I can watch songs from my childhood, episodes of soaps and hilarious TV moments like Kerry Katona on This Morning. (I don’t like her, she annoys me, she is very chavvy, it amazes me she still has her children and to add insult to injury she has MURDERED one of my favourite songs on the Iceland Christmas advert)

 

 

Z is for Zebra, I saw one driving back from Dundee with a colleague. How he howled with laughter, apparently it was just a stripy tall horse. I DO NOT think so. A few miles down the road was a sign for a safari park.  It was definitely an escaped Zebra.

 

 

Too much information.

Boys and girls today has been a day of too much information…

Well actually more just the last hour, our cleaner is a delightful lady…but in the last hour I have learnt that she has a cleaner, the cleaner has a cleaner. I don’t have a cleaner. She is 52. She had pen pals that split up. America is lovely but the food portions are large. The fair is too expensive (I hear ya on that one sister!) She plays darts. She plays darts with her husband. They play darts in Nottingham. When they first got married they played darts at home because going out was expensive (that is quite sweet and romantic).

I stayed at work late because in 28 days I go on VACAY (for those of you not at one with Legally Blonde that is a holiday) and have muchos to do….so when random fact 686 came out I realised blogging was the only option. She is going through, and I kid you not, ‘the change’. And there is more, she doesn’t get the blushes that often. WHY WHY WHY would you share that with anyone!???? Since when was that ok? Does Peggy tell Sean that she is going through the change??? NO. Does Gail tell Deidre she is going through the change – NO! (Come on she must be – it is NOT natural to be that rampant at her age after having so many crazy mo fo husbands)

Anyway I digress – but honestly – when did it become ok to random chat about these things with almost strangers?! Answers on a postcard.

On a bighter note, it is 28 days till I go away (I may or may not have mentioned that  already but I see my mummy and daddy just once a year so I am ok to be excited!) I’ve booked a weekend away so I wake up in a gorgeous hotel on my birthday and can look at the ensuing wrinkles in their mirrors not mine. I saw my lovely brother and almost sister in law this weekend which was very lovely as they came bearing gifts of the shoe variety and it is Monday, Monday is soap night and thus all is at one with the world. 

Oh and I’m well ahead of the game, half my Christmas presents are purchased and the wrapping scheme is chosen. 

All hail Queen Chooella!

Why so many shoes?

Anyone who reads Katy’s regular blogging will know I am rubbish, she may die of shock on her CLD that I have written but my need to write is two fold:

1. I have loads of work to do and this is excellent diversion therapy.

2. I’ve had a comment made on my blog and the question raised of why women need so many shoes and this is, frankly, a question that needs my urgent attention.

Firstly it is NOT a question of need. Shoes are about wanting, desire, passion, excitment, love…a pretty pair of shoes can fix almost anything. I have maybe 200 pairs living over two continents and most pairs have a story to tell! (I had 3 new additions yesterday courtesy of my little brother) And for any men reading, or even women, who think I am living on my own little cloud with no concept of money or real life you’re not totally right. My cheapest pair of shoes cost $3.75 and I wear them at least once a week. I NEVER EVER EVER buy shoes full price because shoes are not about being ‘this’ season, shoes are about what works for you and for an outfit. Shoes can change how you feel about yourself instantly. A pair of cute ballet flats and you’re Charlotte for Sex and the City, a pair of sexy, towering heels and you can be Carrie!

As for the inordinate amount of time ‘dogsdinner’ has spent shopping for shoes with his wife, firstly I commend you for your effort and then I pinch you for your stupidity and that of your wife! If it doesn’t interest you don’t go, shop for shoes only with those who love them as much as you…there are plenty of mutually fun things to do together that are not shopping!

Men and women are designed to shop differently and this is one of the lessons I would teach at man school…maybe if I get enough of an online following of ‘hot boys’ I could start online lessons and actually write more than twice a quarter?!

I invite the questions of men who wish they could go to ‘Man School’ and ask the questions they always wanted the answers to….and for those of you with an imagination the shoe for Man School day 1 is black Fendi stiletto with patent heel and toe….p r e t t y!